Sometimes, I feel stupid.
All those revolutions I promised myself were gone after a week.
Or sooner if I went for a drink and continued for 3 days. No revolution can survive that.
Do you have enough of promising yourself you’ll change and never change?
I had. I was disgusted with myself. When I write these words, I remember days full of nothing. Watching Netflix for hours, getting up late, dark room, beer in hand. I was getting angry at the world for existing. You see, I have experience in being a fuckup.
I blamed the world, never myself.
Once, I asked,
What if I’m the problem?”
Since then, I’ve started my self-improvement journey with the help of my journal.
Failures become a motivation to change my actions. My successes proved that my image of reality is accurate enough to thrive.
For years I hesitated to start a journal. Here is how I dealt with obstacles I’ve so carefully prepared for myself.
Can you imagine I was busy?
I could watch Netflix for 6 hours after work and was busy. What a f*cking joke. I drank every weekend, doing nothing for hours. And the journal seemed like a big-time investment.
A pattern now is clear. I did everything to avoid being alone with my thoughts.
That’s why I was always busy. That’s why sitting with myself was too much. But here I am, writing a journal twice a day. Why do I write it twice a day? Because journaling is the best habit I’ve decided to build in my life.
The solution for the busy me was to present the action as so small that it was easy.
So I planned to write 3 things I’m grateful for every day. To make it easier, set the timer for 5 minutes. If nothing comes out — great — stop after 5 minutes. Confine, limit, and set boundaries until it’s easy.
Do everything you can to start.
It’s better to write a journal once a week than not write at all. Until you don’t write, every entry benefits you. Start without attachments, and improve with baby steps. Make it simple.